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Bill
and Joan Henderson then invited the Lawleys over for tea, and
an immediate bond was formed as the two couples spoke freely about
their boys, sharing their memories and the dreams that had died
with Billy and Kenneth. They continued to get together regularly,
and young Rev. Stephens, then only 23, encouraged them to invite
other newly bereaved parents to join them. In 1969, another grieving
mother accepted their invitation to meet with Simon and the two
couples. They decided to organize as a self-help group and actively
begin reaching out to newly bereaved parents in their community.
Because the word "compassionate" kept coming up, this
new organization was called "The Society of the Compassionate
Friends."
Simon became
a chaplain in the British Royal Navy in the 70's. He was met by
bereaved parents at ports around the world, and he helped them
to develop their own chapters. TCF had become well-known through
U.K. and U.S.A. editions of such magazines as Time and Good Housekeeping.
Paula and Arnold Shamres of Florida read Simon's interview in
Time Magazine and invited him to visit them in Florida and speak
to bereaved parents there. He did, and the Shamres subsequently
founded the first U.S. chapter in 1972. Word of the organization
spread rapidly through interest generated by the Phil Donahue
Show and the columns of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.
The Compassionate
Friends was incorporated in the United States as a non-profit
organization in 1978.
In 1989,
The Compassionate Friends of Great Britain dedicated a plaque
commemorating the founding of the organization, at the Coventry
and Warwickshire Hospital where TCF had begun. The plaque was
unveiled by their patron, Countess Mountbatten, herself a bereaved
parent.
Then in November,
1994, Queen Elizabeth presented Iris Lawley with a medal, The
Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, in recognition of
her work on behalf of TCF.
There are
now Compassionate Friends chapters in every state in the United
States — almost 600 altogether — and hundreds of chapters
in Canada, Great Britain and other countries throughout the world.
In the United States, chapters are open to all bereaved parents,
siblings, grandparents and other family members who are grieving
the death of a child of any age, from any cause.
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Our
Mission
The
mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families
toward the positive resolution of grief following the
death of a child of any age and to provide information
to help others be supportive.
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Our
Credo
We
need not walk alone.
We are The Compassionate Friends.
We reach out to each other with love,
with understanding and with hope.
Our children have died at all ages
And from many different causes,
but our love for our children unites us.
Your pain becomes my pain
just as your hope becomes my hope.
We come together from all walks of life,
from many different circumstances.
We are a unique family because
we represent many races and creeds.
We are young, and we are old.
Some of us are far along in our grief,
but others still feel a grief so fresh
and so intensely painful that
we feel helpless and see no hope.
Some of us have found our faith to be a
source of strength; some of us are
struggling to find answers.
Some of us are angry,
filled with guilt or in deep depression;
others radiate an inner peace.
But whatever pain we bring to this
gathering of The Compassionate
Friends, it is still a pain we will share
just as we share with each other
our love for our children.
We are all seeking and struggling
to build a future for ourselves, but
we are committed to building that
future together as we reach out to
each other in love
and share the pain as well as the joy,
share the anger as well as the peace,
share the faith as well as the doubts
and help each other
to grieve as well as to grow.
We need not walk alone.
We are The Compassionate Friends.
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